Hobbit Home Construction

home-constructionAccording to JRR Tolkien Hobbits were little folk who lived in luxurious hobbit holes and spent all day just chilling (of course I am paraphrasing). What no one ever seems to grasp however is how they managed to make their Hobbit holes into prime examples of residential construction when they clearly were too busy partying or being lazy all day. I would surmise that among all of the Hobbits there was a worker class of Hobbit that no one ever talked about.

These Hobbits would have probably been tired after making everybody’s house look cool and were probably not treated very well by others who didn’t work. My bet is that these were the ones who built the Shire. The “construction class” of the shire were more than likely little folk of color and were forced to hang with the other not so fortunate Hobbits. These Hobbits-of-Color were the working class ones, probably built the nice windows for folks, took care of all of the plumbing – made the nice plates and were generally good with their hands. While the rich white Hobbits kicked back and smoked weed and drank beer all day! Could this be, could there have been a sub-class of urbanite Hobbits who did all of the construction work in the Shire!?!

You know what, probably not. They were probably just really good at building little holes in the ground. I mean come on, seriously? Do you really want to imply political impropriety in the pages of a children’s book? The fact of the matter is that Hobbit’s were very much adept at all things home construction builder related. I mean have you ever taken a look at Bilbo’s house in Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit? That fool had fantastic china plates, exquisite wood flooring, an upscale table on which sat many a Dwarf when they came to destroy …. I mean visit, his house. That all Hobbits lived in Luxury, probably. That they were all a part of some amazing scheme to disenfranchise a certain group is ludicrous on it’s little midget face.

And what about the kitchen styling?

The styling of the kitchens in the Hobbit? If you saw the “the Hobbit” movie then you would realize that Bilbo had a fantastic kitchen that was blown up by a bunch of Dwarfs. I mean again, how did he get those awesome China plates. I mean he had some awesome custom kitchen cabinets and cupboards with the nice trim it looked trick.

It looked like Bilbo hired someone from this pinterest page here. But the main thing that I notice when looking at Bilbo’s little home is how damn cozy it is. I mean this is literally the ultimate man-cave! All you would need is a TV, some beer a bag of chips and a football game and you will be set. Of course I don’t know how much Bilbo was doing this with the other hobbits: Click Here (sorry for the worst scene in the film).

So, how much would a real Man Hobbit Cave Cost

According to an anonymous source, a man cave like the one Bilbo had would run you, at least $20,000! Humble and pious my foot! Yes, indeed those little hobbits were damn fine home construction contractors. In fact I wish they were real, I need a little home construction work done on my house right now.